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For the last two weeks and next week I have been preaching on Ephesians 5:21 and following. This is the passage where Paul says the church at Ephesus should prove their Spirit-filled nature by “submitting to one another in fear of the Lord.” And then in the rest of chapter five and beginning of chapter six he applies how to do that. He says first submit by being submissive in your marriage (Ephesians 5:22-33) and in your family (Ephesians 6:1-4) and then at work (Ephesians 6:5ff).

The reason for posting this is to correct a misconception about the apostle Paul. Many people have pointed to this passage as evidence that Paul is out of date. I remember watching my favorite TV show, The West Wing, and hearing the President quote this passage after having attended church that morning. His wife chimes in saying that she doesn’t like the part that says wives should submit to their husbands. As people look at this passage it does say that wives should submit to their husbands as unto the Lord, but to say that means she should become a doormat to her husband is a misunderstanding of the passage.

Wives were addressed first because it was the least controversial idea. Many speakers and writers would do that in Paul’s day. Deal with the non-controversial topic to lull the audience into support. Then level the boom or give them the more controversial ideas. Paul does this in all three passages.

In Paul’s day wives, children and slaves were property. Wives might have expected Paul to say, “Obey your husbands and do whatever they tell you to.” But he didn’t say that. He said submit as unto the Lord. We submit to the Lord willingly and in response to great love and sacrifice. As a result we are given a gift we could no achieve ourselves. The point is women should submit the same way to their husbands – willingly and in response to his great love and sacrifice. The result is he will then “complete her” as the line from Jerry McGuire says. The same is true of children. They should obey as they respond to their parent’s love and godly discipline. And finally workers should submit to bosses with the same idea.

Paul was not out of date but really radically changing the traditions of his day. Instead of letting husbands and fathers treat their wives and children as property he was calling them to love and sacrificially submit in a show of their Spirit-filled life.